


Son of a Preacher Man

by lilolilyrae



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Captain America - The Winter Soldier, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Son of a preacher man, Songfic, Tom odell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-28 20:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8462431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilolilyrae/pseuds/lilolilyrae
Summary: AU: what if Bucky were the son of an anti-gay preacher, and Steve, who goes into their church every Sunday with his mom, fell in love with him?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I just had lots of feels listening to [son of a preacher man ](https://youtu.be/wJStTqPmcMY) (or rather watching the video by Tom Goss)

What if Bucky were the son of an anti-gay preacher, and Steve, who goes into their church every Sunday with his mom, fell in love with him?

 

After years of dancing around each other, flirting out in the open because nobody even though it was possible- these two boys thinking of each other like this-

What if, after many lingering touches and hidden glances, their first kiss were interrupted by Bucky's father, not at all amused about his son being 'one of these', slapping Steve in the face and shutting Buck away?

Sarah Rogers, Steve's mother, is shocked about it all as well, but she still loves her son more than she loves the church, and she doesn't force him to continue going there with her. She doesn't stop going herself, though. 

Steve's not allowed in church anymore anyways, and while he'd seemed to meet Bucky everywhere before, he can't be found anywhere now.  
He desperately wants to find him, that first kiss- finally!-having given the closure that the other boy has the same, forbidden, feeling he has for him...  
But forbidden feelings are exactly that- forbidden, and Bucky thinks that he already gets punished for them enough, he doesn't want to get Steve hurt even more than that slap in the face must have hurt, doesn't want to endanger him by meeting him again...

 

The day James Buchanan Barnes is supposed to become a full member of this church- he's now of age, there's an entire ceremony- Steve tries to slip into the crowded room, to see if his former friend is really happy there.  
If, maybe, he has to be saved?

But Steve is still sickish and skinny, and the men in front of the church stop him, beating him to the ground.

He calls for help, for Bucky, before he falls unconscious. And Bucky runs, ignoring his father's shouts and threats and all the people in the church with expectation in their eyes, runs for Steve's aid, and he gets beaten too.

When Steve comes back to consciousness, he's told that Bucky is dead. Died defending him.  
That it is his fault, and his alone.

He leaves the town that summer, goes to college, and his mother wishes him well. She doesn't stay for long, after that.

  
Steve's health gets better as he is away, he no longer has to wory about being wrong or going to hell, doesn't have to anxiously await the next time he has to face one of the religious men...  
He has a late growth spurt, too, and when his mother comes to visit she barely recognises him at first  
But her son is healthy, and she knows more than ever that leaving was the right decision, no matter what the Bible sais (and isn't that debatable anyway?)

Steve Rogers devotes his life to lgbt+ rights, and feminism, too, and black lives matter, because all minorities matter and all inequality is something he takes personal- not just what actually affects him, and he supports all anti-bullying campaigns, not just lgbt ones, because while now he's all muscle mass he still knows that there were people mocking him way before anyone knew he fancied boys.  
And he tries to date, and fall in love, but that one son of a preacher man is still the only one that ever got to him, and he is dead.

 

Exept he isn't.  
James B. has been forced into an 'educational camp' where the only education he gets seems to be the knowledge that he'll get beaten up when he looks at boys the wrong way (or at all), when he doesn't look at girls, when he speaks his mind.

And he stops doing anything to stop it, because at some point he knows he can't.  
He stops thinking at all, because as long as he's thinking at all he's thinking all the wrong things and as long as he isn't thinking it doesn't hurt as much to say the things that are against his very own existence.

At some point, the camp gets shut down because of a new law or something, and he's free to go.  
He doesn't know what exactly had happened, and he doesn't care.  
He doesn't care about much these days.

Some of the other kids speak to the press about how horrible it had been, how wrong their guards were with all they had said, how much torture, mentally and physically, there had been.

James doesn't care to do that either. It had been years since he cared at all.  
He had been there the longest, his father not wanting him free as long as there was the slightest doubt about the rightness of the morals of his son, and as long as the preacher paid, they kept his son quite willingly.  
James doesn't remember much about his former life.  
Not even his nickname.

So when a broad shoulderd man in a pride shirt looks at him like he's a ghost and asks 'Bucky??' he answers with 'who the fuck is Bucky, you fag?'

But Steve looks so hurt, and James knows he knows him, because he knows a name to that face...  
Stevie...

He still punches him in the face and tells him that he'll end up in hell, but that evening he's sitting in a pub and his head hurts and he doesn't know what the truth really is

Steve finds him again that week, but Bucky runs before he is seen.  
He goes back to the church, and at confession he talks about the man he thinks he knows, and he's shut off with a warning,  
he doesn't know anyone outside the church, and it's right that way  
Except it isn't.

Because Bucky is Bucky again, and he wants to hear his name out of Steve's mouth.

He's not the boy he once was, and he tells Steve so when he finally allows the other man to find him  
And Steve sais that he isn't, either, and that it's okay. That he still wants him. Wants to get to know him again.  
Friends, if that's alright?  
Or more, sais Bucky. Just not now.

And they talk, for hours, for days, about all that they've been through and about all that had been, years ago, too.  
And Bucky understands why he'd first thought Steve should be smaller.

Steve tells him about his work, too, and slowly Bucky thinks he knows what is right again.

Steve takes Bucky to pride parades.  
At the first one they stay in the shadows, just watching.  
The next ones, Buck lets Steve go with his friends, because Steve seems to be some sort of icon for these people, and he doesn't want to steal him from them.  
Steve smiles and laughes and waves at Bucky from the back of the truck he's on. And Bucky forces himself to wave back.  
It's just so hard, thinking of being there, in the middle of all these colourful people, who are so obviously doing what he was taught for so long to be wrong...  
He can deal with seeing it, but being a part of it, out in the open, is another thing entirely.

But when he sees Steve's smile, he knows that nothing's as important as being close to him.  
He walks through the crowd, pink glitter in the air getting caught in his long hair, and he doesn't flinch, walking straight to where Steve stands...

And their lips meet.

 

 

 

_______________________________________________________

_Sooooo_

_That's that... I know the vid has a happier ending where this story is only quite angstily in the middle, I just thought that it would be more realistic if they don't just let these boys leave like that..._  
_And then I thought about Stucky because... Stucky <3<3 _  
_and yeah I actually just wanted to write a prompt that sb should write a Stucky AU to that vid but I had to write down everything that I wanted to have in the story and it kinda turned into a ficlet of its own :p_  
_(tho if sb wants to write an actual nice long story out of this just take it as a prompt and then please link me to the story I want to read that :DD)_

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://lilolilyrae.tumblr.com/post/152692866656/son-of-a-preacher-man-stucky-au)
> 
> Beta read by [jackwolfskid](http://jackwolfskid.tumblr.com/) and my amusing Scottish mate who wants to stay anonymous 
> 
> Come fangirl with me on my [tumblr](http://lilolilyr.tumblr.com/) or write me a [mail ](mailto:Lilo-lily-rae@web.de%20) if you want sth beta'd/ translated or have any questions :)
> 
> Kudos and Comments are always appreciated :))


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